Tearing Down the Walls

Photo by Me

I don't do New Year's Resolutions.  As noble as they are intended to be, they've never worked for me, as I suspect might be the case for many.  But this year, I really do want to do something new for me ... something to better myself.

"Tear Down the Walls".  That's my New Year's phrase, if you will.  I already know how to build them ... all too well.  But according to the Bible there is a time for everything.  

A Time for Everything

~ Ecclesiastes 3 ~

(in the version of me)

1 There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to harvest,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to turn away,

6 a time to search and a time to lose,

a time to keep and a time to throw a way,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

So I think 2012 is the time to tear down some of my walls ... to let some things out ... to let some others in ... to stop hiding ... to set sail ... to discover new shores.

"One does not discover new lands

without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time."

~ Andre Gide

There are so many things I'd like to do different this year ... I'd like to organize, de-clutter, and redecorate parts of our home.  I'd like to blog more frequently and bless someone by my words.  I'd like to be more creative and find a passion again.

On a more personal level ... a more important level ... I'd like to get rid of some of those walls ... some of those bricks ... most of which are probably stones of fears.  I need to.  They aren't serving me the way that I thought they might.  They aren't serving anyone else, for that matter.  And they certainly aren't serving God.

I'd like to spend more quality time with my family and friends (my husband, my kids, my parents, my grandparents, my siblings, my old high school friends ... the list goes on).  I'd like to share my feelings and thoughts.  I'd like to share my fears and my dreams.  I'd like to share my frustrations and my joys.  I'd like to spend some fun money.  I'd like to rediscover who I really am.  I'd like to spend some time enjoying life ... heck, enjoying ME!

There are three things that I've started in in January to help me do all of this.

1.  First, I've taken the Joy Dare as introduced by Ann Voskamp.  I've begun several times writing down things I'm grateful for.  Sometimes I give up within a few days, sometimes it takes a bit longer.  This time, though, maybe with an approach that includes my camera, I might be able to do this for the entire year!  I anticipate that I'll I miss a day here or there on paper, or on film, but I'm telling myself that it's OK ... just as long as I remember that I have 1,000+ things to be thankful for each and every day.

2.  Next, I've printed out the 2012 Declutter and Organize Calendar.  I am a bit OCD about organization and keeping things clutter-free.  However, I also have a husband, 3 children, and 2 cats that do not share this need for order.  And, truth be told, I do let things build up and get overwhelmed with how to get rid of some things.  A small daily "to-do" will hopefully help me along my desire to have "a place for everything and everything in it's place" ... and maybe ease my OCD a bit along the way.  (Let it go, Erika, let it go ...)

3.  My third endeavor involves a more direct approach to "tearing down my walls".  After agonizing over the $40 cost, I took the plunge and signed up for an on-line class of sorts:  Scrapbook Life Journal with Stephanie Ackerman.  It's meant to help me "make time to take time to reflect on [my life], journal [my] thoughts, take more pictures of [MYSELF] and enjoy the little moments in life that often get forgotten in [my] busy, hustle bustle life & world."  I'm excited to get into my paper crafting supplies again - it's been way too long.  And hopefully, God-willing, I'll find me and Him again in the process.

I'll try to share some of my enlightenment with you along my journey.  And that's what it is ... "It's a journey, not a destination", as my good doctor/boss often states.  So one thing I have to remember is something else Stephanie Ackerman mentioned in her first e-mail:  "It took you a long time to get there so things are not going to change overnight."  This is going to be a process ... tearing down my walls ... but I pray in the end, I will be happy with the me I have found.

Photo by Hallie Sochia